The Lies & the Truth.
Art & Words by Fanitsa Petrou
Even if we were to (somehow miraculously) fail to see their male bodies, we see their male privilege, their male misogyny, their male propensity to use violence – or at the very least the threat of it – against us. To prioritise their own needs, to elbow us aside, to speak over us, to violate our rights, to simulate our suffering, to plagiarize our struggles, to grab our accolades, to mansplained our very nature, to invade our hard-won spaces, to vilify our motives, to use our biology as a weapon against us, to even appropriate our very definition. To colonize an entire sex...
This is a real social media post: A man in women’s clothes is posing provocatively. The caption is saying: “…then I got mis-gendered twice at work, and later while walking my dog, a kid yelled “that’s a dude”! to his friends. Welcome back massive dysphoria”.
This one post is representative of so many, MANY out there. This guy’s supposedly sexy selfie is – in his mind – enough to have us think that all this doesn’t make sense. The part that’s missing (and is represented by the three dots) implies that we ought to agree with him that despite looking so damn sexy as a woman, he got “misgendered”, and that’s just outrageous. And cruel! The thing is, the only way we could mistake this guy for a woman, is if we were both blind and suffering from a massive brain damage, or of course if we were pretty desperate to prove to the world how “progressive” we are. And this is where the problem with the trans movement lies: it’s being empowered by the need so many people have to play along. To be judged as “progressive”, “inclusive”, by pandering to anything this supposedly persecuted group is presenting as truth. And get their proper accolades for the fact.
The kid yelling “that’s a dude” was not transphobic of course (any more than any of us are), but was simply FREE from the contemporary obligatory social convention to appear “kind”, by going along with a grown man’s self-fantasy. The kid was free to point out the ridiculous, not because he was out to get the trans culture and bring it on its knees, but because he was not bound by the moronic, self-congratulatory etiquette of the woke, that will religiously pretend that any man in a dress is in fact, a woman, despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary. And declare “her” “beautiful”, “stunning” and let us not forget “brave!” on the spot too. And when this “dude’s” self-delusion is not acknowledged as an actual fact causing him distress, that’s not “gender dysphoria” either. That’s just reality knocking on his door.
Human beings belong in a sexually dimorphic species. Which is to say, they are either male or female. This is a truth that remains a truth. Regardless of how one “feels” about the matter. Regardless of how many Tik-Tok videos will be created about “non-binarism” and “gender fluidity” by young people who are looking to sooth God-only knows what insecurity, which they will name “gender dysphoria” in their hope to escape it (who have our sympathy, but NOT the right to demand our complicity in their self-delusions). Regardless of how many middle-aged men in scary make-up will talk of “living their truth”, asking us to validate their lies unquestionably at the same time as they insult us. Regardless of how many tweets about “kindness” and “inclusivity” will be written by everyday people who became keyboard warriors overnight looking to be branded as forward thinkers, with the added bonus of increased followings for their “bravery”, and celebrities looking to safeguard their careers. And regardless of how much effort will be made by transactivists who are on a crusade to recruit every child, and every mind, and have them fight on their behalf! To create theories that justify their fetishes, and safeguard them by lies and threats spewed against anyone who is not accepting them unquestionably, and on demand.
When the popular argument of sex being a “spectrum” is raised, we are often being reminded of intersex individuals (namely those who possess anatomy characteristic of both sexes, such as a combination of vulvar and testicular tissue). The fact that this phenomenon statistically refers to the 0.02%–0.05% of the Earth’s population, renders this argument and these cases, hardly “typical”, not to mention completely irrelevant to what trans identifying males are: gay men who suffer from an internalised homophobia (as in, they have convinced themselves they are not gay men, they are women, which explains why they are attracted to other men), and straight men suffering from the psychosexual disorder Autogynaephilia – feeling sexually aroused from wearing women’s clothes, having fantasies of doing something regarded feminine, fetishing breast feeding, etc. (Or a combination of the two) The question is WHY are we being asked as women, and as a society at large, to recognise and enable anyone’s complexes, self delusions, mental illness, and sexual fetishes as an actual reality – at the same time as we are being denied the right to be acknowledged as actual women and are deprived of the right to fight for our rights?
None of us have anything against the men who enjoy a bit of cross dressing. And certainly none of us want these men to be in harm’s way in any shape or form. (Which is, let’s face it, more than we can say about them in regards to the dangers we continually face as REAL women) Harm comes from other men, not women after all. They never had and still don’t have anything to fear from us. We don’t care about anyone’s fashion choices. But when we, as women are reduced to nothing but that (namely, a fashion choice), then yes we do mind. When we are told we are nothing but cosplay for men, a costume to be worn, then we do object. It was only when the TRAs (Trans Radical Activists) demanded that we betray language, truth, reality, basic common sense, our very safety and our own identity as a sex and as a class, on the altar of their newly formed movement, and were threaten that if we objected we would be silenced, publicly shamed, professionally destroyed, and of course, raped and killed, that we finally began to see the light.
What trans activists fail to understand, is that we were ALL naively on their side not so long ago. No woman minded ever, if what used to be called “transvestites”, “trannies”, “cross dressers”, “drag queens”, and the most accurate term of the all: “female impersonators” (all acceptable terms and even a source of pride for them, just a few years ago by the way) existed in this world. No woman objected EVER, to the men’s love of extravagant fashion, and glittery things and show tunes, who would call each other “fierce”, “queen” and “divas”. Why would she? It was always men who rejected them, not women. (It takes a LOT for women to reject men – of any persuasion – after all…) It was only when we were told that we are supposed to call these men “women”, and then were bullied to do just that, that we finally realised what we are dealing with. It was when we were told that it was expected of us to give up on our rights for their sake. To jeopardize our safety. To pretend we don’t mind that athletic girls who would rather climb trees than play with dolls, and who would probably grow up to be gay (or not) are told that they are boys and they ought to have double mastectomies, and hysterectomies, and take testosterone, and be deprived of the right to ever have kids, (or orgasms!) when they grow up. That teen boys who love theatre and poetry, are being cruelly castrated, because they’ve convinced them they are not boys because of that. That gay teens are being sterilised, and forced to go into the conversion therapy that is the “medical transitioning” in its essence, so that the gay in them will be reversed! That little children are being experimented on. That neither them or their parents are being informed about the life-long and often life-threatening health problems they will face because of the experimental (and costly) surgeries they were coerced to undergo so that the medical establishment will get the great financial rewards and the TRAs their pound of flesh. That women’s sports are being taken over by men who are being given metals for being cheaters! That women and girls are being harassed and raped in newly established “gender neutral” bathrooms, women’s prisons, hospital wards and changing rooms. That lesbians are being attacked for not being willing to have sex with men, who assure them that they are now “women” (!) That gay men are actualy called homophobic (!) and are being attacked when they don’t blindly obey and follow the TRAs agenda. It was when we saw that every inch we offer willingly, is stepped on, and acres are demanded. (And when not offered, then taken by force) It was only when we finally understood that there is a sinister side to this movement. And it was also only when we saw the kind of narcissists and sexual offenders were hiding underneath the cakey make-up. It was only then that the scales finally fell from our eyes. It’s neither hate nor any kind of phobia that stops us from becoming their allies again. It’s the lifting of the veil, that has shocked us, and shaken us to our core. The realisation that these are NOT harmless drag queens and hurt, lost “boys” who never grew up. Obsessed with their mums. Starving for attention. Playing the victim. These are actual predators who are out to get us.
At this moment in time, the hijacking of feminism is pretty much a done deal. It has been taken away from women by Trans-activists who are cunningly using “intersectionality” as a powerful woke bait, and as the perfect pretext for achieving this goal. Who would dare touch “intersectionality”, and not be burned, right? What it REALLY means of course, is that women are no longer allowed to centre themselves in their own movements, charities, organisations. The Trans ideology is particularly effective in this moment in time, when virtue signalling has become the driving force of most of what is happening on social media. This is especially relevant in the US of course, given the current political climate: Americans are looking to heal the political divide by cultural wars. By repeating the mantra of inclusivity and free speech (the soft spot of the neo-liberals), Transactivists are cunningly using the Left as their lackey, who is by now doing their dirty work, parroting their every statement, blindly advocating on their behalf while completely ignoring the plea of women who are losing their hard-won rights and their safety, and who are being demonized, simply for speaking the truth. Additionally, by igniting the well-established homophobic rage of the Christian Right, transactivists are appearing as the victims of prejudice and bigotry and by that, they are fortifying the Left’s alliance. AND creating hagiographies of themselves… It’s quite the trick. And when they are faced with actual reality-based arguments presented by feminists, all they have to do in order to shift the attention (and the blame) is equate these statements with what the Alt Right is saying. All they have to do, is showcase the nastiness of the homophobic comments of right-wingers and religious fundamentalists and put them in the same category as what feminists are saying. And the vilification of feminism is then complete. In short, Transactivists have both sides, the Left AND the Right fighting on their behalf (directly or indirectly), empowering their movement (and disempowering women) as they do.
When we – the actual women – point out the realities of the trans movement:
-When we talk of the danger men pose when they are allowed in women’s spaces;
-When we express concern about sex offenders and violent, intact biological males who are being moved to women’s only prisons just because they suddenly claim to be “women”, who go on and assault and rape them;
-When women’s sports are being destroyed because mediocre in the men’s categories transgender athletes are allowed to cheat by competing against women, obliterating them, and eventually elbowing them out of their own sports, who may be wearing women’s outfits and calling themselves by women’s names, but even when they have taken feminizing hormones, they still have the biology and the benefits of having gone through male puberty, and therefore, the bigger bodies, the bone structure, the higher red blood cells count and because of that, the endurance, speed and physical strength that are unmistakably male, and therefore one hell of an advantage over women;
-When we point out the absurdity of having trans-identifying males being time and again given “Woman of The Year” awards by various media organisations (because apparently not one single woman out of the 3.95 billion that walk the Earth is considered as suitable for such honours).
-When men are being given key positions in Woman centred charitable or women’s Rights organisations that are then used not for the promotion of women’s interests, but as tools promoting the trans agenda;
-When we express our utter shock that medical institutions have been bullied (or lured by the considerable financial rewards) into accepting the gender ideology and are willing to ignore scientific realities by remaining silent when it comes to the many dangers associated with gender reassignment treatments to minors, as well as disregarding biological sex when treating patients, putting their health and lives in danger;
-when we reveal the criminality that lies at the underbelly of this movement (the homicides, the sexual assaults, the pedophilia) which are not only putting women and children in danger (or in the grave) but are also now being reported by the police, the mainstream media, the sociological data and the sex offenders lists as being committed by women, just because these rapists, murderers and pedophiles are claiming to be ones;
-When we point out that biological realities cannot be subjected to anyone’s personal interpretations or ‘feelings;”
-When we say that we are more than a fashion choice or a notion in a man’s head;
-When we object to the erasure of female language or to the fact that our very nature, our very biology is seen as violations of trans Rights,
then we are told we are trans-phobic that need to be outed as such and publicly shamed, for attacking them.
Additionally, when we reveal that laws and Employment Equity Acts which were especially designed to reverse the injustice that permeates our societies and leave women at an economic disadvantage, are now ignoring them and are benefiting trans identifying MEN who are being offered the very few high-paying job positions, the political posts, the deals, the accounts, the scholarships, the sponsorships, the grants, the entertainment awards, the artist accolades that were once reserved for women; or similarly, the fact that trans-identifying men are now being hired in decision-making positions so that employers are fulfilling their enforced by governments quota, AND avoiding to actually hire an ACTUAL woman, but still getting kudos for both hiring a “woman” AND for “her” being a trans “woman”); we again are told that we are bigots.
These men build their careers on male privilege and when they are claiming to be women, they, of course continue to enjoy these same privileges. Plus all our rights. When a man decides that he is now a ‘woman”, does he saunter on his high heels to his boss’s office and demands to be paid less? To be by-passed for promotions and bonuses? Does his boss suggest it? (He is now a “woman” after all! Shouldn’t he?) Or does he suddenly have to deal with the realities of being a working woman, splitting her time between work and all that unpaid and uncredited labour, the thousand thankless tasks that are equated with being a good wife, a good mum? A woman doing her job while having the menstrual cramps or the hot flashes from hell? Or while being pregnant? Or while her breasts are leaking milk because she thought of her new born baby at home? Locking herself in the bathroom to pump? (Or being judged as worthless if she has never given birth?) Doing all that AND facing prejudice and sexual harassment at every turn? Getting paid less; being judged primarily on the basis of her looks, not her ability, intelligence, education? Being groped, and leered at and cornered, and harassed and catcalled and spending half her life basically trying to avoid the possibility of male violence? While also trying to protect male egos? Doing all the things we all do, in feeble attempts to be safe? And once she reaches a certain age, regardless of her abilities, suddenly becoming invincible, unhiriable, and inconsequential as a professional (AND a human being), for no other reason than the men who have the upper hand in her working environment can only see her as a headless set of body parts, which they now reject? And additionally, do these self-declared, pretend women know how it feels to have their reproductive rights taken away from them by laws especially designed in order to keep them powerless? Are they forced to be punished for every ejaculation? To docilely give up their rights? To have no say in how their bodies are being used? Or to dutifully follow the doctrines of religions that abase them? (Which were created by men IN ORDER to abase them?) In short, what do these men know of what it means to be a woman?
The field of Arts and Entertainment is another great example of the special treatment trans identifying men get. If there’s one award to be given to one female and one male actor, singer, etc, and the one saved for women is given to a guy who claims to be a woman because he says so, (plus he does have lots of make up on, so it must be true), then it means 2 guys get awards, and no woman gets any. It’s that simple. Not only are they given the awards that are especially saved for female singers, female actors, writers etc, but trans identifying men are also being given more opportunities than ACTUAL women. (Despite the noise they make about being prejudiced and overlooked). Take for example the Wachowskis, the talented brothers who have written, directed and produced many seminal sci-fi genre films, most notably, The Matrix trilogy – never mind that was apparently created by a black woman (Sophia Stewart) who remained in obscurity. When they decided one fine day that they are not the brothers Larry and Andy but the sisters Lana and Lilly, they expected (much like every other man in their position) to be seen as women. But NOT be treated as women of course. If that was the case, would their occasional commercial / critical flops (such as “Jupiter Ascending” for example (or “The Matrix Resurrections” for that matter) be “forgiven? Would they still be given chance after chance to make movies even after they’ve failed? Or would they be given the chance to make that first movie back in 1994 if they were real women? (Sophia Stewart was certainly not!) Would they have been backed by the Hollywood system as newcomers? The answer is most definitely not! Female writers are given considerably less opportunities to even be in a room with anyone who can give them a chance, (let alone be actually given that chance), while female directors famously are even today, given ONE single shot at it – if any – and if their movie is not a huge commercial success they are not seen as worthy of second chances. Patty Jenkins for instance, has helped break barriers as a female director at the helm of a superhero movie. Her critically acclaimed movie “Wonder Woman” went on to gross over $800 million worldwide. Interestingly, it took her 13 whole years to be given a chance to even be considered as suitable. Even after she had a commercial and critical success in writing and directing Monster (2003), a movie that went on to win multiple awards, she was still seen as an unsafe bet, BECAUSE she was female. (As in ACTUAL female, not a pretend one) Even now, after two successful Wonder Woman movies, she and her heroine have been outs from the boys club that is the D.C universe: Wonder Woman 3 has been “canceled since it did not fit with the new DCU’s unfolding vision” (that is solely focused on male heroes –Even in a fantasy universe it’s only men who are seen as worthy of our attention)
When we point out the numberless cases – such as these above – in which trans identifying men are actually using their male privilege, we are told that this comes from a place of prejudice. (Ours!) When we talk about the incidents of actual violence women and girls have experienced in shared bathrooms, changing rooms, gender neutral hospital wards, we are being asked: but what about trans individuals? They too have faced violence. If we point out that they have not faced violence from women but from other men (many of which are, if you look closely at police reports, also trans), we are being told we are missing the point. Trans “women” are “harmless” because they are women after all. We have nothing to fear from them. When we offer specific, deeply disturbing incidents that refer to women and girls who have been harassed and assaulted by trans individuals in changing rooms, bathrooms, rape shelters, hospitals, or prisons, we are simply called transphobes. No argument can be used to defend women’s rights without the transphobe accusation muzzling us. And presenting facts makes no difference given that violence or at the very lest the threat of it, is never that far behind:
The website Terf is a Slur, for example, has documented the real face of gender ideology. What it’s really about. This is a site that publishes unedited screenshots from Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and other publicly accessible sites that target feminists. All of them deeply disturbing, all of them describing the ways with which those “virtuous” trans “women” who “deserve our kindness” and who are just “like us”, really feel about us. The moderators who handle the content have done nothing but simply repost what’s out there on the Internet. The numberless expressions of hate that is directed towards us. For no other reason than being women and daring to say so. There is even an entire section dedicated to the threats sent to J. K. Rowling, for bravely defending women’s rights, becoming the heroine we all needed in this moment in time, when all the female cultural icons have turned their backs on us in an effort to avoid the backlash, protect their millions, AND be bathed in the light of the “kind” ones. The trans “women” (biological males who regardless of sexual preference or proclivity – gay, straight, bisexual, and pedophiles – and yes of course, not all trans-identifying men are pedophiles, but the reality is there are many pedophiles hidden in women’s clothes) are using the trans identity to hide their misogyny – and as it turns out, their violent tendencies and criminality) are all threatening to use violence against anyone who challenges their preferred “gender identity”. The descriptions of raping, mutilating, murdering women, the seething rage that is aimed against anyone who was born a woman is pretty disturbing to read. The many (Oh, SO MANY!!!) trans “women”, making references to their “girl dick” and the ways with which they want to use it, to choke us in order to shut us up (yeah, the classics never go out of style). And the “advice” given to other trans “women” on how to mutilate us, kill us, what weapons to use, and how enjoyable it would be when they do it. And the photos of them kicking and hitting the hell out of women at feminist protests.
We shouldn’t be surprised. All these guys with the girls’ names and the bad wigs, are just being their true self: men who hate women and are trying to shut them up by threatening to rape and / or kill them. Misogyny by the numbers. This is what men have been doing for thousands of years: creating support groups, bespoke theories, ideologies, political movements, made-in-their-image religions that support a very basic, a very common and well documented masculine need to shut us up by the use of violence. And then recruiting us to fight against our own interests, convincing us that this is actually noble, God’s wish, our “rightful” place, etc. In this case, a matter of Human rights. Convincing us that calling them men is hate speech, but them threatening to assault us, is “human rights”. It’s quite the trick. And being men, they are allowed to play it on us.
The men who create these memes, these posts, these written threats and send them out there, are sadly (despite what we once all thought) not the exceptions to the rule. These are not random, rare exceptions of violence send by a handful of bad apples. This is the norm now. This is the Pavlovian response of this movement. Any woman who points out the obvious, who supports other women, who advocates about the safeguarding of children and the protection of women in female-only spaces, will receive a litany of similar “anti-terf” threats of violence. She will be publicly shamed, lose her job, her reputation, her livelihood, her peace of mind, her safety. This is what happens when you are dealing with a fascist movement. When you openly talk about your oppressors.
Transactivists are trying to shut down Terf is a Slur, and other similar websites that reveal the truth about their movement and others that report the many crimes perpetrated against women and children by trans identifying men, (like the Reduxxinfo, Transcribe UK, Decide For Yourself: Transgender Crimes, womenarehuman, ThisNeverHappens, etc). Instead of taking measures so that no more women and children will be victimised by trans-identifying men, they are focusing on silencing anyone who reports their crimes. In a typical MALE move, they are in short, concerned with silencing the victims of male violence instead of taking responsibility for their actions.
It’s a world gone mad. Social media are crowded with selfies of middle-aged men in heavy make-up, posing coyly and proudly listing their complicated, hours-long beauty regimes that are supposed to hide their male nature, asking the world to validate them by telling them they are “stunning”. And of course, “brave”! And asking us all to be “supportive” of them during their imaginary “periods”; calling their male genitalia “girl dick” (even as they are threatening to rape women with it); demanding to be included in gynecological tests!; demanding that Genealogy / DNA test companies don’t mention to them that they have only one X chromosome and of course, “outing” them as “trans-phobic’ when they don’t falsify scientific documents to tailor their personal fantasies; giving each other tips on how to achieve their goal of becoming exaggerated caricatures of womanhood by pilling on the make-up and the layers of self-deception. How to speak in a deliberately high voice to sound feminine – each word a theatrical play they’ve rehearsed. Each word a lie. How to swing the hips they don’t have. How to make “girl-talk” (what is that I wonder in their male mind? Talking about nail polish and arranging pillow fights?) How to carry themselves with the unmistakable, deliberate intention of someone who is playing a role. And how to sit in a more “lady-like” manner crossing their legs without crushing their balls. (One tip is to practice crossing their legs for a few minutes per day, working up to a few hours, until their “lady nuts” as they call them, get used to being flat…)
We empathise with the struggle. We understand that it must be exhausting! All this effort, all the lies, all the effects and affectations, all that deliberate crashing of balls. And the world still not bursting into spontaneous applause the minute they enter any room. Unless it is on social media that is. Of course they are angry. Of course they are desperate. Of course they are going to turn all that self-hate onto us, who are effortlessly and by Nature, what they are trying to pretend to be and fail. Of course, it is maddening when they are told that they are a “dude” even by children. Of course, it is exhausting when the world doesn’t conspire on their behalf, even though, I’m sure, as men they have come to expect it. When not all of us are not willing to play along and cater to their self-delusions. But this thing is, truth is effortless. And stark. It does not require manipulation, interpretation, or anyone’s participation in order to exist. It just exists whether you conspire against it or not. When any of us enter a room, we don’t shout we are women. It is self-evident. It’s done. It’s the lies that need all that screaming, all the theatre, all that effort, all that convincing and drama. All the emotional blackmailing. It’s the bullshit that requires noise, threats, manipulation and propaganda tactics in order to be accepted as a reality.
Yes, there is something magnificently stubborn about the truth. It just wants to come out, no matter how many measures human beings take to disguise it. Criminals bursting into voluntary confessions in the middle of interrogations, our inability to fool polygraphs, our quicken pulse, our altered breathing and heart rates, our blushing skins, our faces that bend into a multitude of micro-expressions that reveal our lying, etc, etc. We see it in trans identifying men, calling themselves “women” too. The truth that wants to come out. We see their maleness. Even if we were to (somehow miraculously) fail to see their male bodies, we see their male privilege, their male misogyny, their male propensity to use violence – or at the very least the threat of it – against us. To prioritise their own needs, to elbow us aside, to speak over us, to violate our rights, to simulate our suffering, to plagiarise our struggles, to grab our accolades, to mansplained our very nature, to invade our hard-won safe spaces, to vilify our motives, to use our biology as a weapon against us, to even appropriate our very definition. And (same as always) to create theories, ideologies that justify their reasons, canonize their desires, hallow their need to keep us in our place. To colonize an entire sex. We recognize it. We’ve seen it before. It is unmistakably familiar. And it’s so old, it’s practically archaic…
That is why we know that there is man underneath the loud layers of feminine disguise. There is good old-fashioned seething misogyny hidden underneath the language of inclusivity, diversity, equality, kindness, acceptance, liberalism, intersectionality, progressive thinking, tolerance. Because only a man could hate us with such an intensity for simply speaking the truth. Only a man would threaten us with such ease, with such a degree of vehemence and desire to silence us. Only a man would work for our downfall with such a zealotic fervor. Simply for defending our place in the world. Because only a man would choose to attack a woman who uses words to defend herself, instead of other men who use actual violence against him! And sadly, because only a man could fool so many (MANY!) of us to defend him to our own detriment…
***
On the same subject, read also: “Biology Matters”
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Posted on the 4th of March, 2024. Art & Words Copyright © Fanitsa Petrou. All Rights Reserved. Any unauthorised use – copying, publishing, printing, reselling, etc – will lead to legal implications.
But if you are not there yet, in that place of self-imposed celibacy that is, (though you probably will, eventually, given how porn culture is heading towards some even darker places), whether you are young or old, don’ t expect or wish to be loved for your looks (the one thing you have, that doesn’t last!) Expect and demand to be loved for more! For who you are! Who you’ ve become. Inside and out. Attraction is important, sure! We are all still underneath the layers of culture and education and intellectual analysis, animals after all. But there has to be something more there. The kind of something that lasts longer than an orgasm, that goes deeper than our skin. That can outlast infatuation. That can survive pass our youth. In short, dare to explore other versions of yourself, that don’ t involve your need for external validation. Free yourself from the addiction to compliments! Stop graving random men’ s attention. Stop being in constant need for men for whom you have no interest or desire, to see you as desirable, and for women to see you as more beautiful than them! Step out of the beauty pageant that is your life. End this humiliation! This desperation. This fear. Stop parading in front of sleazy judges of your worth, (on social media or real life) hoping they will choose you over the other desperate, parading women. Stop being a slave to the idea of becoming prettier / slimmer / younger. At all costs (physical, emotional, financial) Because it eats up your feelings of self worth, and it therefore keeps you from being free to explore the endless possibilities that make up who you are, or can be as an individual. It also keeps you from making thoughtful, realistic, decisions about your life: when your self esteem is defined wholly by the way you look, each time another woman tells you you look “great”, you assume she is a friend for no other reason than that, and each time an asshole pays you a compliment about your looks, you again lose your discernment, your ability to cut through the bullshit and see his real intentions – or your own feelings about him for that matter! It won’ t be long before you have talked yourself into believe he is in love with you, and even worse, that you are in love with him. Just because you love the feeling (in fact are addicted to it) he gives you when he says “Hey, you are pretty!” (which is man-talk for “Hey, I’m horny and must have a woman – any woman – now!”) That’s how most loveless marriages came to be, by the way: by a horny guy paying a passing compliment to a desperate woman, and by her buying it. Making it her life-line.
It’s a cruel double standard of course that does not touch men. Did anyone ever cared about or went into any kind of lengths to hide
Ίσως οι Γερμανοί να γυρεύουν πραγματικά να επανορθώσουν το συλλογικό κακό που προκάλεσαν στο κόσμο στον εικοστό αιώνα, (άλλωστε η βίαιη προσφυγοποίηση Εβραίων που έφευγαν για να γλιτώσουν το Ολοκαύτωμα, ήταν αυτό που γέννησε την Συνθήκη της Γενεύης για τους πρόσφυγες), κι αυτή φαίνεται να είναι η δημοφιλέστερη ερμηνεία που δίνεται από ακαδημαϊκούς για τη στάση της Γερμανικής κυβέρνησης: η προσπάθεια δηλαδή να αποσείσουν από πάνω τους τη ρετσινιά του “ugly German” που ενισχύθηκε και κατά τη δεκαετία του ’90, όταν οι μετανάστες δέχονταν μαζικά επιθέσεις Νεοναζιστικών οργανώσεων, χωρίς κανένας να κάνει τίποτε να τους εμποδίσει. Η σημερινή στάση των Γερμανών, φαίνεται να επιδιώκει την ανατροπή της παλιάς αρνητικής εικόνας. Οι Σύριοι αιτητές ασύλου στα σύνορα Ουγγαρίας που φωνάζαν ρυθμικά, με μια φωνή “Germany! Germany!” (Λέξεις που κανείς δε θα περίμενε ποτέ να ακούσει να προφέρονται με τέτοια έκσταση από οποιοδήποτε βρίσκεται στο κοινωνικό περιθώριο), σκέφτονται στην απελπισία τους το δωρεάν πιάτο φαΐ και το μηνιαίο επίδομα των €143 που θα λαμβάνουν για τους πρώτους μήνες της παραμονής τους στους χώρους φιλοξενίας προσφύγων της χώρας αυτής, μα τι θα ακολουθήσει άραγε;
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